Monthly Archives: April 2019

Pressure of Sex

The Pressure of Sex

 

It seems like from the moment you learn about sex at a young age, the pressure to have sex is on.  Whether you are single, dating or even just friends with the opposite sex, the pressure to have sex can be an issue. This is especially true among teenagers and men and women of college age.  Sexual pressure can be as simple as a commercial on television or as heavy as a partner pushing you past your boundaries to have sex when you aren’t ready. Sexual pressure can impact a person negatively. It’s important to understand that not all sexual pressure is negative.  An effective way at managing sexual pressure is to have open dialog with your peers and possibly adults you trust about sex and the pressure that comes with it.  Together you may find that you are not alone and discover ways to overcome the pressure with positive and healthy solutions.

So what are some ways to overcome sexual pressure?  First it’s important to understand where the pressure is coming from. Could it stem from insecurities? Most men and women feel that you need to be desired physically or sexually in order to be valued or accepted. When in fact, someone’s physical or sexual attraction doesn’t necessarily equate value or even acceptance of you. It can be a means by which you are drawn in for them to obtain what they want from you.  In my opinion, it’s more important to be respected rather than accepted.  Remember acceptance is temporary. You may be accepted today and rejected tomorrow by the same person.  If you struggle with insecurities, whether they are physical or mental, recognize those insecurities and work on ways to strengthen those areas. Giving in to sexual pressure due to insecurities can result in feeding those insecurities and increasing them.

Second, know who you are and what your values are. What are your boundaries? Don’t wait until you’re in a situation where your boundaries are being tested to determine what they are. Ask yourself if you are ready to have sex, and will be able to handle all that having sex comes with. If the pressure of having sex alone is too overwhelming for you to handle, then engaging in sexual activity will compound those overwhelming feelings. Learning to say “no” to the things that push you outside your boundaries or make you feel uncomfortable can be a healthy sign of maturity and will increase your confidence which can lead you to make empowering decisions.

Lastly, don’t believe the lies about sex. Sex does not equal love and cause someone to fall in love with you. If you alone aren’t enough for someone to deem you worthy of love, then sex will not change that. Not everyone is having sex though others might tell us otherwise. Many men and women are respecting their bodies and valuing their sexual purity these days. Despite what you see on TV and what your friends are telling you, many people are waiting until marriage to become sexually intimate.

Another lie is that sex doesn’t have consequences.  As long as you are “safe” then you will be ok. That is simply not true.  There is not a birth control method that is 100% fail proof. Even when a person practices “safe” sex, they risk a potential unplanned pregnancy. Having “safe” sex can still lead to STD’s, unplanned pregnancies, emotional devastation, addictions and destructive relationships. Once you have had sex, you are now left with consequences that can last a lifetime.

The most important thing to remember when dealing with sexual pressure is communication.  Don’t be afraid to talk about sex with your friends and partners and mentors/parents you can look up to. Be honest and stand firm on what you believe. Ask questions to determine if having sex is really what you are wanting or seeking. If you have goals, ask yourself if the consequences of having sex right now will lead you to your goals or alter the chances of achieving them. One thing that has worked for me as a single woman, is keeping my eyes on my goals and worth. I have so many dreams that I refuse to allow the consequences of sex ruin or alter them. Also, knowing that I am a beautiful, strong and a capable individual whose ability to have sex does not define or shape my identity. So be bold. Be strong. And when the sexual pressure comes, and it will, find the courage to overcome and not give in.

If you have had unprotected sex and fear that you may be pregnant or are concerned about STD’s please schedule an appointment at our Orlando location as soon as possible.

Life Coaching

What Life Coaching Means for You

What is Life Coaching?  Life coaching is a coach who comes alongside you to see you where you are at and help you get to where you want to be.

I recall watching a commercial with a well-known basketball player and thinking, “He was not always a great basketball player”.  He had to work with someone behind the scenes that showed him different techniques and calling out some of the areas where growth needed to take place.   The coach had to come alongside the basketball player on the sidelines and outside the games calling out different plays to conduct and not conduct.

Even the best players and experts can benefit from a Life Coach. A Life Coach will listen to your story without judging or criticizing you. A coach can will help you determine action points significant to you to help you identify and make progress on your dreams and goals. A Life Coach can also provide great support during hard times.

We all have blind spots in our lives that we are unaware of and need some guidance. A Life Coach can help in areas that are challenging and approach beliefs that are crippling one from making genuine connections and have fulfilling relationships. They help individuals gain courage, strength and discover some of the passions they have as well as gain the confidence needed in overcoming life challenges that come unexpectedly.

A Life Coach helps to work on self-confidence and explore obstacles that have kept an individual stuck and enabling them to move forward. With Life Coaching, one can explore many different topics like personal goals and/or professional goals.  It is not just about dealing with the past, but closing the gap of where one is at and where they would like to be. Together an action plan is created that the individual and the coach are held accountable to achieve and fulfill.

In a coaching session, you are able to examine where you are at and discover what patterns have been beneficial for you. You take a look at some life challenges and misunderstandings about yourself and others that have occurred throughout life, learning to follow through in trusting yourself to revisit those areas. Life coaching helps with your personal life, goal setting, and dealing with life challenges. It helps an individual to get unstuck and create healthy habits, as well as learning how to have fun, unleash the gifts within, and improve relationships.  Furthermore, it helps create awareness in identifying your life purpose and reaching your goals.

People that have chosen to have a Life Coach have been successful in life because they have chosen to create a plan that will lead them to become a better individual. The role of a Life Coach is to help provide the tools needed to help achieve goals and carry out the vision for yourself at the same time providing accountability. It is a great resource to utilize that allows an individual to move forward in life. Everyone has life challenges but it is what you do with them that matters. With each challenge, there is always a solution that eventually becomes part of your story.

At Choices Women’s Clinic in Orlando, Florida, we offer Life Coaching for our clients. Together we explore areas of life that have been challenging and help shape you into a stronger, healthier person empowered to move forward. The goal is to gain new tools to deal with life challenges and achieve happiness and true fulfillment in your personal life. We want to support you to become the best version of you! You are worth it!